THINGS THAT BLIND WOMAN NO LONGER HAS TO WORRY ABOUT:
“When people think about blindness” says Julie “they are often thinking about the loss and seldom the gains.” “I thought writing a list of all the things I know longer have to worry about because I can’t see would be a great way of focusing on the positive aspects of blindness” she continued.
So, here they are. What do you reckon? Can you think of any to add?
Top entry added by Arlene Blackstone.
Getting frightened about how far up I was going in a hot air balloon!
Patterned Toilet Paper
Your son’s history bar on the internet.
Blood for rare meat running into my mashed potatoes.
Spelling mistakes in advertising
Driving on the wrong side of the road.
seeing yourself as a bald, blind woman whose hair has fallen out with chemo
Looking a friend in the eye when having to tell them a white lie
Dunedin’s bad drivers
Looking at bad photography
Bad hair days
Kids that think they don’t need a belt for their trousers
Sad puppy dog eyes from pets begging for food
Sad puppy dog eyes from children begging for toys
Slow loading pictures on slow loading websites
watching her son pinch biscuits
watching the Black Caps lose!
watching her son get bowled out at cricket!
read her son’s school report!
read bad news in the newspaper
looking at damaged trees in her garden from flying soccer balls!
watching her son climb up a tree when she thinks he’s inside doing his homework
getting wound up by the mess her sons make in the kitchen when they bake!
when her son’s draw on the bricks on the family fireplace!
My child yawning or picking their nose in the front row at the school concert
Weeds, weeds and more weeds – how do they grow so fast!
Watching those kilos you’ve put on
Teenage eye rolls and looks of total disbelief
Seeing the body wobbling at Zumba!
All the goals I miss playing netball
Train track creases in trousers
Light bulbe blown on Christmas trees
Someone pinching her park
People avoiding sitting next to her at an airport
Sitting in the wrong seat on a plane (the air hostess makes sure she gets to the right one)
5 O’clock shadows
Her audience dozing off
badly designed toupee’s
writing notes on her hand
not noticing the prices of the oyster meal she wants on a restaurant menu!
Dog hairs on the wooden floor just after vaccuming.
Your child rolling their eyes when you ask them to tidy their room for the eleventh time.
The dead patches of grass on the back lawn where the dog’s peed.
The bags under your eyes and the red/yellow-tinged eyeballs the morning after the night before.
The plumber’s bum crack as he bends over to fix your washing machine.
The titsy ‘glamour’ models on the covers of men’s magazines.
Sexist and mysogonistic imagery in music videos.
The food scraps, dog hairs and general rubbish on the floor of the car.
The scrapes down the side of your car after leaving it in a ‘shoppers’ car park’.
The ‘frozen’ expression on your husband’s face as he opens his birthday present to discover it’s not what he really wanted.
Being called a cheat at “Pin The Tail on the Donkey”
Plasma or LCD?
Pictures that aren’t hung straight
An untidy bench top
Dead Pot Plants
Light Bulbs – let alone blown light bulbs
“Stand on a Crack – Marry a Rat”
Having more grey hair than your older brother (opps – now you will worry about that!!!)
what her admin assistant wears to her workplace
walking in to the wrong toilet
walking in on anyone in the nude
crazy drivers on the road
never having to be a sober driver
reading abusive letters
boring power point presentations
stray pubic hairs on her food!
that her admin assistant hasn’t put her ‘face on’ when she goes to the bank with her!
sun on the computer screen
seeing big nasty bills!
bank charges on your bank statement
spills on the bench
flour spilt on the floor
people who are avoiding you!
other bad drivers on the road!
Becoming frustrated that you are being tailgated by the car behind you
The clash of the outfits – coming dressed in the same outfit as someone else
Noticing that your name is misspelt on an invitation
Whether the toilet seat is left up or down
Noticing the mould growing on items in the fridge
Stepping on the unmentionable on the footpath
The daily additional facial wrinkle
Reading glasses – don’t be so vain I don’t need these!
Dirt under your fingernails
Plastic looking airport food
What body part you are rubbing up against when walking down the airplane isle
Crappy amateur magicians
Melbourne smog obscuring the view
Knowing that the tram you should be on has just rumbled off down the road without you on it!
What the inside of the Flinders Street Station toilets look like!
Gorgeous men’s voices don’t necessarily match their looks
Seeing the soccer ball come flying towards her when she is goalie
Whether she has chocolate powder on her boobs
Polish and Russian women mobbing her stall for more of those bloody truffles
pesky car salesmen trying to sell her a car
seeing the doctor injecting a needle into her (this happened recently)
a tall person sitting in front of you at the movies or theatre
cracked glass (my front door has a crack in it)
a broken lightshade
what your friends wear
what your partner wears when he goes out!
prawn’s eyes or whitebait eyes looking at you before you are about to eat them
her friends untidy house!
bad images on postage stamps
badly fitted bras
Having a unique selling point
The sun shining on your computer screen
Being distracted by junk you shouldn’t at the supermarket
Enduring Hollywood movies
Judging a book by its cover
Getting sick of hot pink
Getting Media Attention
Broken bottles and rubbish on the side of the road
seeing how smeary the windows are when you’ve just cleaned them
noticing the dust all over the furniture just as the door bell rings
violent images on TV news
weeds between the stepping stones
guessing what the expression on someone’s face means
graffiti on a newly painted wall
scrunchies, rah rah skirts and jeans ripped so purposefully at the thigh….reliving the 80s fashion fauspas that are now back in style
Seeing John Key appear on the David Letterman Show this week in America. Politicians are no oil paintings but neither is Letterman.
That moment when you look in the mirror at the end of the day and realise you forgot to remove the toothpaste you carefully placed on your zit overnight
Cindy Crawford swears it makes them disappear but she’s not talking about the toothpaste
The All Blacks losing the rugby, the Black Caps losing the cricket, the Silver Ferns losing the netball
Pamela Anderson at NZ Fashion Week – she’s all over the internet and i’m pretty sure there’s not much left to see!
Some very white legs on some very hot sunny days Dunedin has been experiencing lately.
children with messy faces (no matter how cute they may be) – although that could be to a blind woman’s detriment since she won’t see sticky fingers leaving
marks on everything including her.
Boy racers screaming around town in their heavily enhanced family wagons – much to their disappointment because how else will this blind woman be aware
of their masculine prowess?!
Dark roots on blonde hair – this is a great one cos it allows me to feel less self conscious around you Julie when i haven’t had my hair touched up in a while!
Other people’s dandruff
Your own dandruff!
An auctioneer eye balling you at a charity auction!
Food stuck in somebody’s teeth
Demand notices from the debt collectors
A plant dying through your lack of attention (hey Barbara – how did you know this one?)
The number of candles on a birthday cake as you grow older
Chewing gum and rubbish in the street
War images on TV
Parents growing older and yourself growing older
Debauchery on stage
looks on peoples faces when you’re trying to get them to vote for you in the local body elections (Gordon walked the streets with me when I stood for the district health board in 2001)
these young things with their bad hair do’s
your child not singing when he’s in the school choir
boys wearing their crutch down to their knees
low ride pants on women when their picking up their kids
What everyone is wearing coz it will be black anyway
Seeing people in short running shorts who shouldn’t be in short running shorts!
making eye contact with people collecting in the streets
Being fixated on a gentleman’s “comb over” that’s just blown loose in the wind
Knowing the taxi you were in ran a red light.
Weeds in the garden
Your sons tattoo and piercings – only until someone else mentions them though
Stranger’s nose hair
tranger’s ear hairs
Driving home after a night out on the town
Library book fines
Other people’s bad dress sense
Having to stop and talk to an ex on the street
See someone giving you the fingers!
Looking at a friend’s photos of her overseas trip
Finding her glasses
See her best friend get married in a meringue wedding dress
Never see her son downtown, wagging from school
Having to back a trailer
Watching the Exorcist
Spotting her own grey hair
Upgrade to a hotel room with a view
Have to get dressed up when she has her blind friends around for dinner
Catching men pick their nose while they are driving in the car!
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The bathroom mirror misting up after a hot shower.
Where you sit in a movie theatre
Your hair going grey!
Standing in long lines at customs or emigration. Just look tired and pathetic and you’ll get through the diplomats channel.
Participating in those ridiculous telephone surveys. The words ‘I’m blind’ usually scares them off.
Playing boring party games, like the egg and spoon race.
Watching those laborious safety demonstrations from the flight crew before you take off
Being exposed to the elements on the front of a tandem bike.
Getting a seat on a crowded bus, just look useless and scared and even little old ladies will stand and give you their seat
Trying to identify your notes, just say ‘have you got change for this $100 note?’ they’ll soon tell you what it really is.
Can you think of any other things that blind woman no longer has to worry about? Contact her and let her know so she can add them to her list
Thanks for adding to my list!
A positive thinker does not refuse to recognise the negative, He refuses to dwell on it.”
– Norman Vincent Peale, American writer and minister